I’m Jen. I’m 41 years old and I live in Atlanta, GA with my husband, Andy, and our three dogs, Duchess, George and Archie (we weren’t thinking about the Royals, I swear). My world was turned upside down on February 20, 2016 when my Dad was diagnosed with Stage IV Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer. He did six months of traditional chemo and seven and a half months of immunotherapy before everything stopped working. He lived another eight months before dying on November 15, 2017.

To add to the shitshow we waded through, my Mom was diagnosed with Stage II Breast Cancer in August 2017 – just two and a half months before Daddy died. Whereas my Dad had breezed through his chemo treatments with little or no issues, my poor mother had every horrible side effect one can have. Between my Dad’s cancer returning in his brain and my Mom’s “chemo brain” it often felt like I was managing toddlers. But most days it felt like toddlers who had found the bottle of schnapps and were toasted. And then if I was dealing with the parents in the middle of the night it was like the toddlers had been given LSD.

They were drunk toddlers on acid.

While our story isn’t particularly special in terms of caregiving for senior parents with cancer, I do think I learned a few things along the way that might be useful to others. Some are hard life lessons. Some are practical tips to ease a side effect. I hold no PhD, I’m not a doctor, I don’t study humankind, and I’m no authority on aging or dying. But I shepherded my father from diagnosis of stage IV lung cancer to his death, and did the same for my mom through her cancer treatment while Dad was dying. I know about adult diapers, hospice comfort kits, advanced directives, and how to avoid bone pain from your Neulasta shot. Do you have questions or just need to vent to someone who gets it? I’m here for it. Whatever brings you back to read, I thank you and welcome you. Leave a comment, sign up to get notifications of posts, drop me an email. I’m here for it.